Enjoy the Show!

Gumby will take your call now.

I’ve had a good life.
I can’t believe it’s come to this.
It’s complicated.
So let’s break it down.

I ponied up for a sterling silver
Eqyptian good luck ring
and was immediately accepted
into finger printing school.
Today I am a retired fire hose.
Still,
I never did learn
to dance by mail and
I regret that.

Horror and love can be
closely related feelings,
like the uncoiling of
a worn and frayed fire hose
whose better days are behind him,
or, as Gumby
once said,
“My brain hurts.”
So send no money
and I’ll send you
the Complete Guide to Electricity
wherein I will train you,
quickly and easily,
to design, construct, install, operate, repair, maintain, and sell
all forms of radio apparatus.
Yes, radio needs you.
Learn at home,
in your spare time.
Be a Radio Expert!
Act now and I’ll send you
my free guide to
the true heart of humanity,
a marvelous Caesar salad
dressed with empathy, curiosity, resilience, diversity, and connection
as well as lemon juice, olive oil, eggs, Worcestershire sauce, anchovies, garlic, Dijon mustard, Parmesan cheese, and black pepper.
As Gumby always says,
“Get up, be amazing, go back to bed.”