How To Write Good About Sea Shanties When You have No Idea What You’re Talking About
Two years before the mast unjustly flogged was I.
To spite the captain my hardy bunch cooked up a lusty lie.
Sing boys, you hardy souls, sing out the truth to all.
The captain is a squirelly man and he must take a fall.
Oh squirelly man, oh squirelly man, please come out and play.
Oh squirelly man, Captain squirelly man, we made you a bouquet.
Fife and fiddle, sticks and bones,
this squirelly man wears squirelly clothes.
You seen ‘em.
Up aloft the captain climbed, to the crow’s nest he did reach.
And high aloft, the captain coughed, and then commenced his speech.
Squirelly man I well may be, but listen well you sailors.
I’d rather be a squirelly man than be a fucking failure.
You never wash. Your breath is putrid.
I’m done with you. You’re fucking stupid.
Gobsmacked swabbies looked down in shame,
A voice cried out, “Then give us dames!
We feel restless! We feel blue!
We hate ourselves! But we’ll love you…
…Just give us dames and some sniffing glue and a small boat.
So he gave them dames and some sniffing glue and a small boat.
