Losing Myself In My Phone

Irene Flores,
so caring and concerned.
Now meet Peter Campbell.
This is all on the phone, mind you.

Peter is concerned because I’m nervous and thirsty.
My network has been compromised and corrupted.
That makes me nervous and thirsty.
Peter throws words at me
and the rest kind of dissolves into a dream.

It’s a long story so I’ll keep it short.

Got a text from Apple;
there’s been a charge that
looks suspicious.

We all look suspicious, when you think about it.

Anyway, I call the number
and now Irene is buttering me like a bagel.
When she finishes she “transfers” me to Peter.

Now Peter tells me what I gotta do
to get back the money
hackers stole from me.
Soooo,
I drive to Lowe’s and buy a two-thousand dollar gift card,
take pictures of the receipts and the cards,
text them to Peter,
and he says in my ear,
“Now go to Home Depot.”
I go to Home Depot and
try to buy two more two-thousand dollar gift cards
but things don’t work out cause
by this time
I’m more thirsty than before
and I gotta pee
and I’m really nervous.
Peter “suggests” I drive back to Lowe’s and buy
two two-thousand dollar gift cards and I’m thinking,
what is exactly going on here? Am I hypnotised?

Here’s the ending…
I’m at the bank
and I’m not thirsty
and I peed earlier
and I’m not hypnotized now.

Smarter, too.

I wish.

This story is much abridged. Here’s the full story.