Morning reflections in a parking lot after the rain
How did it come to this?
The .38 special, unloaded, never fired, a virgin, sits back of the closet.
At night, sometimes, I hear the howling of men. Or are they women? Both, probably. My door is locked, but still, I am frightened.
I have seen them in the day, walking West Picacho Avenue like zombies, some of them. Moaning, hands waving about, trying to cross the street without getting hit by the fast moving traffic.
My studio apartment is across from the Big Chile Inn. You can’t miss it!
Las Casitas is directly across the avenue. My lucky number is 115.
I feed the pigeons every morning near sun-up. Others do the same.
How did it come to this? At first I hadn’t a clue. Now, days later, I understand what brought me to this place. But I can’t articulate the reasons in words. My mind is fully aware of what happened in the course of a week, two weeks, two years… it was, in hindsight, inevitable.
No worries, I am on the mend.
I first moved to Las Cruces in 2001 following the divorce of my wife of 30 years. Let’s just say I screwed up and leave it at that. I still love her. She says she still loves me.
In 2002 I met a woman, a fellow teacher. We dated. She moved in with me at my house on Salopek Blvd. We married. Again, I screwed up. I am some 18 years her senior. What was I thinking? I loved her, still do, but it was never a romantic love. It was the love of a father for his child.
The details of our coming apart aren’t important. We’re still friends, that’s what matters.
I am on the mend. I’m making friends here at Las Casitas and around the city. I’m joining a church, the United Universalist Church on Solano Drives. I’m going to a birthday party tomorrow at the home of a woman I worked with for three years at Discovery Child Development Center. I’m going back to Palacio Bar next Wednesday night for the monthly meeting of the Sin Fronteras Open-Mic Poetry reading. I’ll share two love poems, one dedicated to my first wife and the other for my soon-to-be second wife. I’ll finish with a poem that’s sure to leave them laughing. One or two people there may remember this poem which I shared back in 2002.
I am on the mend.