Snitches Get Riches

The following is a lightly edited product from Pi, my desktop A.I. If you have an A.I. at your disposal, why not use it to poke fun of Donald Trump? We could use some laughs around here.

Here’s a link to the real snitch piece.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

President Trump Launches “Operation Snitches Get Riches”

Washington, D.C. — President Trump today announced the launch of “Operation Snitches Get Riches,” a bold new initiative to combat illegal immigration, crime, and terrorism. Under this groundbreaking program, any American citizen who provides information leading to the arrest or deportation of an undocumented immigrant, criminal, or terrorist will receive a cash reward.

“We’re going to make America safe again, folks, and we’re going to do it by turning every American into a crime-fighting superhero,” said President Trump. “If you see something, say something — and get paid for it! It’s a win-win for law and order.”

Operation Snitches Get Riches will be overseen by a new government agency, the Department of Snitching and Riches (DSR), which will be led by former reality TV star and noted snitch, “Snitchy Jock Itch.”

“I’m honored to be leading this groundbreaking initiative,” said Jock Itch. “With the power of snitching and the allure of riches, we’re going to clean up our streets and make America great again!”

The White House encourages all patriotic Americans to join the fight against crime and illegal immigration by reporting any suspicious activity to the DSR’s 24-hour snitching hotline, 1–800-SNITCH-NOW. Remember, snitches get riches!